Tuesday, 31 December 2013


So, now I got the right year...

The results of the poll are as follows.
1) Most impressive politician at Holyrood : Alex Salmond. Runner up: Nicola Sturgeon.
2) Debater of the year: Nicola Sturgeon. Runner-up: Stewart Hosie.
3) Most impressive Westminster politician: Stewart Hosie. Runner-up: Angus Robertson 
4) Least impressive politician in Holyrood: Johann Lamont. Runners-up (equal) Anas Sarwar, Jackie Bailey, James Kelly, Iain Gray.
5) Least impressive debater: Alistair Carmichael. Runner-up Anas Sarwar.
6) Least impressive politician in Westminster: Ian Davidson. Runners-up (equal)David Cameron, Iain Duncan Smith, Gordon Brown, Margaret Curren, Jim Wallace, Nick Clegg.
7) Scot of the Year: Rev Stuart Campbell. Runners-up (equal): Alex Salmond, Andy Murray.
8) Rat of the Year: Iain Duncan Smith. Runners-up (equal) Ed Miliband, Anas Sarwar, Gordon Brown and George Osborne (with apologies to rats everywhere).

Congratulations (or indeed commiserations) to the winners, depending on the category.
Finally, Munguin and Tris would like to thank everyone who reads and contributes to this blog. It really wouldn't be the same without you and we greatly appreciate your input.

We want to wish each one of you a fantastic, rewarding 2014 filled with happiness, health, humour, prosperity and ... Independence!

See you all next year for the most important year in our lives.

Monday, 30 December 2013

MUNGUIN'S NEW YEAR PORRIDGE HONOURS LISTS (Order of Munguin, First and Second Class)

Soooo… The Herald has had it politician of the year (and debater of the year) and the Times has had its Briton of the Year, and Munguin’s said to me that he didn't want to be left out.

So, on his instructions I am asking you guys for your nominations for the following categories in which Munguin has decided to award prizes.

Please vote for your preferred recipients and feel free to add your comments about why you have chosen them.


1] Most impressive politician of the year at Holyrood

2] Debater of the Year (on either side of the independence debate, not necessarily a politician)

3] Most impressive Westminster politician from any party in either house

4] Least impressive politician in Holyrood

5] Least impressive debater (on either side of the debate, not necessarily a politician)

6] Least impressive politician in Westminster

7] Scot of the year (not necessarily a politician)

8] Rat of the year (not necessarily a politician)

Munguin will be awarding points according to your votes, and we all know what points mean, don't we? Points mean Porridge!

Sunday, 29 December 2013

FIRST MINISTER'S NEW YEAR MESSAGE (for 2013...Thanks to Marcia for pointing it out)


The number of peers has increased by 103 since 2010, taking the total number to nearly 800. 

New figures show the amount EACH unelected peer costs the taxpayer, through daily allowances, has risen 17% from £97,725 to £114,721 in the same three years.

In the last year the amount of money required to staff the Lords increased by 6%  to £24 million, making a mockery of the Prime Minister’s promise to cut the cost of politics.

The higher cost of the Upper House was revealed just weeks after it emerged that Lord Hanningfield had been turning up for a token short period each day in order to collect his £300 allowance.

It will further fuel concerns about the rising cost of politics, coming the same day as reports that the bill for politicians’ special advisors has leapt four-fold in just two decades.

The cost of the MPs’ so-called ‘Spads’ has risen from £1.5 million in the early 1990s to £7.2 million.

There are now 98 such advisors working within Whitehall compared to 76 in 2010, earning an average of £73,470 a year – more than the present basic MPs’ salary of £66,396.

The statistics were uncovered by Labour MP Tom Greatrex.

The Government had pledged to cut costs by reducing the number of MPs from 650 to 600 but the plan was scrapped when the coalition partners fell out over House of Lords reform.

You might want to check out this link which helps keep a trace on how much politicians are claiming in expenses..

Friday, 27 December 2013


Erm... what growth?

What on earth are you talking about?

Wages are going down, poverty is going up, people in social housing are now suffering from damp because they can't turn the heating on; that's only those that haven't been thrown out on the street. More food banks every week; larger proportion of children in poverty than Greece, which, by the way, they tell us, is how we will end up when we go for independence.

Oh, wait, yes, you mean the growth of the banks, bigger and richer than they ever were with our money in them and heading for another crash; the number of houses selling for over a million pounds in the south east of England? Executive pay that has climbed? All the properties that are being built for tax exiles in London, while Londoners are forced farther and farther out of their town to rent a small bedsit in a slum at £700 a week.

That recovery; that growth?

You'll pardon me for missing it. It's just that it isn't happening here. Must be a London thing!

Briton of the year? Boris will be wanting to name his nut job airport on an non-existant island, in a river given to flooding, just by a bird sanctuary, after him soon. George Osborne and Margaret Thatcher Batshit Mad International.

Cretin of the year more likely.


Just like America, huh?

Not one single banker went to jail; they didn't even have the decency this time round to throw themselves off high buildings. 

And when the MPs and the Lords were found to be fiddling their expenses, how many went to jail, how long for, and in what kind of jails? Few, for a short time and in the holiday home kind of jails that people can nip out for a drink, or down to the village, and get home for a birthday party.

And when a Cabinet Minister lied and lied and then lied again about his driving offenses, he spent a few weeks in an easy going regime and came out to a new job... 

What a bloody country. Why don't we have the nerve to be like Iceland?
Oh that will be because we have clout... everywhere. 

Corrupt clout, but clout none the less. 

Oh no, wait, we don't even have clout. Cameron just made that up, along with all his other lies. Because when the Syrians took other nationalities prisoner, their governments got them released.  But when they took a Brit, Wee Willie couldn't even get consular contact. Clout my backside. (And if anyone makes the obvious joke about that, Munguin will be round to see them...with his sharp teeth!)

Thursday, 26 December 2013


So is this why we heard that the house of aristocrats and clergy removed the Scottish government's rights in respect of green energy?
Might get in the way of them making money
We are always hearing how many foreigners come here.
There are a lot of Brits who go there.

Still, it is one way of getting rid of the poor.
Only a one-off funeral grant to pay
Like Eton Boy would do it himself...
That's before we start saving on being big nobs in the world
Ah yes, these are all the things they prophesied in 1978
Let's see... No, no, no, no, Ha ha ha,
unfortunately no, we never had one (indeed is there one),
no, no, ooops, she did anyway,no, no.
Nothing out of twelve. Try again.
Oh wait, that's what they are doing! However, in fairness, 

as CH points out below, it's probably a spoof, 
given that the logo of the Lancaster Rose didn't appear till years after 
this poster would have appeared.
And  merry Christmas to you too Dave and Nick, you bastards.
Farce maybe?
What a happy Christmas that will be.
Are you old enough to remember when there was work for
thousands of men in these plants?
But clearly while the UK keeps its WMDs there,
you lot can just starve
Oh to be Icelandic, or at least to have their
autonomy to deal with thieves their way
It was Dave's idea; what did you expect?
Democracy? And how many of the Lords are millionaires?
And how many of the royals?
It's NOT all about the SNP or Alex Salmond
Two particularly repugnant specimens of  Tory
Some people have very strange friends
See, even St Vince says so
What a brilliant idea. We should have more like that.
Respect man. You get on down with the poor people, Dave.
Give him a hug, I dare you!
If you could call any of them "real"
So, when ukok tells you that Scotland, unlike Norway,
couldn't afford to pay the pensions, they are talking garbage.
The British government took the money for our pensions.
Just because they spent it on sucking up to George Bush
 and Ronnie Reagan doesn't make any difference.
They owe it to us.
Labour has said that Barnett  needs replaced with a "needs" formula, based no doubt in the Westminster Government's interpretation of need. So that will be like they didn't think we needed electric trains, or motorways, or television till years after England. Cameron says he has no plans to revise Barnett, but then, he had no plans to put up VAT just days before he put it up by 2.5%, and in any case, is there anything he hasn't lied about so far? As Marcia rightly points out, as  Scotland already pays more than £824 per person more than the rest of the Uk population the total subsidy would be £1,574 if their was a £4bn cut.

Tuesday, 24 December 2013


Munguin doesn't much go for all this Christmas stuff. He thinks that it just disrupts life (and he has to give Tris the day off, and with pay too!)

He, as a political beastie, is also very aware that while he is sitting comfortably in Munguin Towers with peons serving him food and wine, there are many people out there who don't have his luck and who are cold and hungry on Christmas day.

There are kids who didn't get any presents; there are old people who will spend the day alone wrapped in coats and hats; there are people at the start of their adult lives who, despite working hard in the period up to Christmas, will only barely have enough to feed themselves, and who may have gone without so their kids could have a present or two. 

Munguin knows a guy who, a few years ago, walked 5 miles to work and 5 miles back every day in December, through rain and wind, to save money for presents.

He understands that Independence won't solve all the problems that make our country one of the most unequal in the developed world, with people like David Cameron and Iain Duncan Smith, Prince William and Kate Middleton, and of course Munguin himself, being able to push the boat out with an orgy of food and drink excess, while others shiver, treat themselves to a plate of hot porridge and go to bed early to save electricity.

However, it will give us the tools to start to address some of the iniquitous conditions that people in Scotland live in. 

As a member of the British government recently said: London is sucking the life out of the rest of the UK.

We should cut its straw.

All that said, Munguin has instructed me to thank his readers for their support throughout the year, and say that he hopes they will have the kind of festive season that they wish for themselves, be that riotous or quiet. 

He also hopes that in the nearly 9 months to come, we will all redouble our efforts to get freedom for our country so that by next Christmas he we can start to put things right again.

Frohe Weihnachten 
Mele Kalikimaka
Joyeux Noël
Feliz Navidad
Feliz Natal
Καλά Χριστούγεννα 
Nollaig Shona 
Gleðileg jól 
Nadelik Lowen
(with grateful thanks to Google Translate!)

Monday, 23 December 2013


I note that Denis MacShane was sentenced to 6 months imprisonment for stealing £13,000 of taxpayers’ money.

He pleaded guilty to false accounting, submitting 19 fake receipts for "research and translation" services. He used the money to fund a series of trips to Europe, including one to judge a literary competition in Paris.
He had been Europe Minister under Tony Blair, and gave a multi-language reply to the judge as he handed down the sentence, saying that McShane would have to serve at least half of the sentence: “Cheers”, he said, followed by “quelle surprise”. How European!

I suppose we should be grateful that at least he has had the guts to face his trial and sentence without springing a nervous breakdown, or Alzheimer’s on us, but I find it disconcerting, and worrying that a lad whole stole two bottles of water after one of the riots in London a couple of years ago, got exactly the same sentence as this man who wilfully stole £13,000.

Sunday, 22 December 2013


Spin on it; I'm a minister and I'll go to the Lords @ £300+ a day!
I used to think that Simon Hughes was a Liberal Democrat.  I’ve come to the conclusion that he isn’t. Political Scrapbook has been keeping track of the man and his hypocrisy.

Here is their list:

He called stealth privatisation in the Health Bill “unacceptable” … then voted for it at every stage of its passage.

He lied about abstaining on parliamentary votes affecting housing rights for thousands of his constituents.

He applauded gay marriage at Lib Dem conference … after abstaining during third reading citing his religious views.

He said that the benefit cap should be dropped … after voting with the Tories for it.

He told the Commons that councils should have planning powers to restrict betting shops … then voted with the Tories against such a measure.
Keep back though, I'm not THAT much on your side
He claimed difficulties during the London riots “demonstrated the case against cuts” to the police … then voted to cut the police.

He called for the NHS Risk Register to be published, then said that “governments are entitled to resist requests for information”

And, of course, he said that he wouldn’t take a government job … and then he took one!

He said of the bedroom tax: “it is not practical to insist that people move if there is nowhere for them to move to” … and then he voted with the Tories to keep it.

He repeatedly voted to reduce local authority budgets … then he claimed that councils’ cuts were “politically motivated”

As a bisexual man, being elected to parliament on the most notoriously homophobic campaign in British political history against Labour’s gay candidate.

Is there anything about this bloke that is anyway half decent?

Saturday, 21 December 2013


La Capa
Except Better Together, of course
In the good old days of Alistair Darling we
used to queue like this outside Northern Rock
Dreadful, because we wouldn't be sharing it in solidarity with the UK...
just the way the UK shares its wealth with, for example, Burkina Faso
No Alistair, it seems your god let you down...but you should never trust in money
To any reasonable person, it's a bit obvious
Oh Nickie, you don't seriously want me to answer that do you?
Hmmm. well it seems he would!
Look at that Wisteria on the chimney pots... have it taken down.
The plebs are paying.
We wish you a...Well, we wish you... No..we just wish...
Remember the botox skin of a few years ago?
Now even the make-up doesn't cover the debauched look.
Too much free booze, Wrinkles?
What does one do once one has put milk in it, Mr Pleb?
EAT IT??? Without truffles?
You have to be joking. 
And there's a new hydro plant to be built at Spean Bridge
No, you're right, we could never manage without the money from England
 and the brains of Gideon.
She is likely to be mistaken for the entrance to the underground car park
 if she is not careful
Let's get to it then guys...